The True Privilege of Aging

So often in our modern world we hear people speaking passionately of the challenges of aging, but rarely do we hear of the gifts that such an opportunity presents. An invitation to experience the uniqueness of each season of life. New insights (amongst the joys and challenges) for refinement and growth are offered should we choose to open our hearts to such a prospect.

Perspective at play once again.

I have spoken of the fact that I began in the hospice field in my early thirties (over thirty years ago), first as a trained hospice volunteer. Later that journey transitioned to allow me to serve in professional roles at several hospice societies within BC before launching the “In Autumn’s Cocoon” platform.

In such positions one is given the immense opportunity to listen to the summary of lives and learn from the unique artistry of each.

By the time I was forty I had witnessed so many people die younger than me it was rather sobering. They left us in their twenties, thirties and forties. Breaking the myth that hospice is just for older people. While volunteering at a children’s hospice one year (many decades ago) the youngest bedside where I sat in support was that of a three-year-old who was imminently dying.

Many of the younger adults who were dying in hospice had young children and other cherished family they would be leaving behind. The heart ache of saying good-bye and grief of letting go of the dream of a longer life, or seeing their children grow up was beyond devastating. The loved ones at the bedside also in deep grief that they would not continue into later life with the one they were accompanying with a life-threatening illness.

For me this subject hits home even closer. As I unfold into the mature years of my life, I am fascinated even more now by the attitude most people adopt to growing old in our culture. Opposite to the way most people view this life season, it is proving to be the richest part of my life in so many ways.

I know I have more to offer the world now than in my youth for a myriad of reasons. Am blessed to be physically vibrant, active and curious about so many things. This coupled with knowing myself more intimately, drawing on rich life experience, a greater awareness and deep curiosity toward each new opportunity is key. I was hiking in stunning Lynn Canyon on the North Shore of Vancouver recently taking in the beauty of nature we are so blessed to experience while living in this part of the world. Awe and gratitude for the gift and sheer miracle of life filled my heart.

There is a part of my life that I rarely publicly share because it is so personal and incredibly vulnerable, but it has merit in the scheme of this discussion.

When I was 15, I was diagnosed with a digestive illness. Behind the outer physical image and dynamic warm smile that I presented to the world I was challenged by this foundational health issue which impacted my over all well being. Perhaps this is why I have had such a curiosity about the subject of beauty beyond just the superficial from a young age. As John O’Donohue, the late Irish poet and philosopher points out in his writings we now seem to mistake glamour for beauty. How true. What is true beauty? Hospice work has taught me so much.

What complicated that time in my life is that I have a very sensitive constitution. Every medication they offered I had severe reactions to. Diets they suggested did not work and often added to the symptoms of discomfort and depletion. Finally, after several years of trying the traditional allopathic approaches, I had a realization that the only way to heal would be to explore all the domains of my life in greater depth. Not just the physical. That would also include the emotional, social, intellectual and spiritual parts of life. I was in my late teens at the time, and whole person care was rarely spoken of (if at all) nor was the concept presented by the medical professionals I was working with. Yet somehow, I knew this discovery would be the key to my healing along with unending creativity.

I remember making a firm decision not to be defined by the illness. Was active physically so maneuvering around any digestive flare up became an art. This was coupled with an inherent belief that I could heal the situation even if it took time. There were many times in my late teens and early twenties I remember privately crying, upset with God, the Divine, whatever you want to call it, that I had been given this body without instructions! Where was the user manual that was supposed to accompany this physical body that was not cooperating the way I wanted it too?

Ever so slowly, as I ventured into the other dimensions of my being and life tapestry, things began to change. My nightly dreams became an invaluable source of insight to guide my healing. As I embraced the more spiritual elements of life all the other domains were affected and began to shift. Heal.

Years later came the call to serve in hospice. It was the last thing I was considering doing in my early thirties but ironically working at the bedside and serving others in that capacity gave me the gift of learning from hundreds of life stories. The celebrations and regrets. The loves and the heartaches. The more I became immersed in this field of service the better my health became! Truly. Eventually my health settled, and I now rarely have a flare up and if I do it is mild and viewed as an opportunity to check in where I might be out of alignment. Quite frankly, as a result I feel more vibrant now in many ways than I did in my youth.

So, when I hear people say how challenging aging is I have a vastly different perspective. The illness at a younger age and years of hospice work have allowed me to pay attention and live a healthier life overall which has paid off into this present season of my life.

Like all of us I too will die one day. It may be soon or decades away, but I know in my heart that to experience all of life, with an open curiosity and heart, even the challenging moments can offer us untold gifts.

There are thousands who wished that they could have had the opportunity to life a long life and their loved ones are missing them deeply as I share this writing.

Remember to honour the life that has been gifted to you and the sheer privilege and opportunity that aging offers us all.

Photo courtesy of Sean-Oulashin from Unsplash free photos